The CRASH !

Waking up in the eerie, vast rocket I was wondering where I was . As the windows were pitch black so I couldn’t see where I was going . As I heard a loud thud I knew this wasn’t going to be a good day . As the door flung open I could sense that the mountains were glaring at every movement I made .¬†

I could smell decaying eggs which were hiding under the dancing leaves . As I clambered forward, I could see the sun which was a immense ball of oppersive gas . Also the wind came rushing towards me and smacked my face .

In the distance I could see a carpet of leaves looking like a carpet o f confetti which was leading to a black cloak enemy . The figures shadow had emerald green eyes . Glaring, he was slithering in a carpet of decay .

As he came forward he breathed on me and I couldn’t stand his breath . When he came forward he smashed my rocket in pieces . I felt vengeful and wanted to make him pay. ¬†Staring at each other I knew he wasn’t a good person.

I got a narrow metal rod and smacked it on his face and blood was dripping out of his head , also this was red, crimson paint . For more than 20 minutes I had been smacking him even the wind blew him in a cage . The sun was delightful and no one had to see this person again. As the ended in a relief , the decaying leaves and branches didn’t even dance . The bleached skeleton was looking like a prehistoric beast . Then I decided to stay here as there was no way home .

This was an abysmal day .

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5 thoughts on “The CRASH !

  1. I like the way you described the place you were in. What you could do is to describe the beast some more so we can picture the whole thing in our mind>

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  2. I like the way how you used really good adjectives in the piece of writing. Also, you have shown but didn’t tell in this description.

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  3. I like the way you used good adjectives but you could have used adverbs at the start of a sentence.

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  4. I like your descriptive writing in this beautiful piece of work. Also I like how you have done a exciting story.
    Try to use more openers and especially different openers. Try to use exciting vocabulary in the middle of the sentences and use different clauses.

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